


And Kate Hudson.

by mothraesthetic (burritosong)



Series: yakulev week 2015 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Romantic Comedy, a rom com within a rom com lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 15:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4570302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burritosong/pseuds/mothraesthetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Yaku," Kuroo says gently, and Yaku can feel a heavy weight settle in the pit of his stomach. "He totally rom-commed you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Kate Hudson.

**Author's Note:**

> heavily inspired by the episode “Love and Monsters” from _Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23_. there are several lines adapted, or taken entirely from it, as well the general concept being ripped from the ep. title from a line that June says: _“Is that Chloe? What is she doing here? She hates chick flicks. She says they send out a negative message that women need to be in a relationship to be happy. And Kate Hudson.”_

A tradition had developed between the Nekoma volleyball team, of monthly movie nights at Kuroo's house. They'd all gather there for snacks and to spend the night, and they would take turns picking the movie. And on this particular night, it was Lev's turn.

After they're all settled in Kuroo's room, crowded around his small tv, Lev triumphantly pulls a movie out of his back pack and held it aloft.

" _When Harry Met Sally_ ," he announces. "This is my favorite movie of all time."

Yaku groans.

Lev immediately turns toward him with a frown. "Yaku-san," he whines. "You never like any of the movies I pick."

"That's because you have—"

"Okay!" Kuroo says, jumping up to cover Yaku's mouth. "Let's get started on this classic film that we are all sure to love or _at least keep our mouths shut about._ " He gives Yaku a shake for good measure before releasing him. "Go ahead and put the movie in, Lev."

"No, I want to know why Yaku-san doesn't like my movies," he insists.

"You really don't," Kuroo insists.

"No, I really do."

"I never like your movies, because you always pick movies I hate," Yaku says.

Lev's face falls a bit. "But why do you hate them?"

"Where do I even start?" Yaku says. "They're overly contrived, they give people completely unrealistic expectations about relationships, and they take already tired cliches and—"

" _Okay_ , Yaku," Kuroo says, clamping a hand over Yaku's mouth. "We all know you're allergic to anything romantic." He leans in towards Lev and loudly stage whispers, "It gives him hives."

"It does not give me hives," Yaku hisses, breaking from Kuroo's hold.

"I am now instigating a new rule for movie night," Kuroo continues, ignoring Yaku's interruption. "Anyone who doesn't like the movie choice, and cannot keep their mouth shut about it, can sit in the kitchen. By themselves. Until they decide to play nice." He gives Yaku a hard look.

"Somebody's in trouble with mom," Yamamoto loudly whispers to Fukunaga. "Better be careful Yaku, or Kuroo's going to put you in timeout."

Yaku glares at all of them, but settles down, arms crossed over his chest.

"Thank you," Kuroo says to him. "Lev, put the movie on. _I'm sure we're all going to love it._ "

What follows is the most excruciating hour and thirty-six minutes of Yaku's life.

——

"Sorry for calling you out like that," Kuroo says the next morning after everyone else has left. "But for someone always complaining about other people making a scene...well, you were kind of making a scene."

Yaku grunts from where his place on the floor where he's searching for his phone charger.

"Just cut the kid some slack, okay? I know it's kind of hard to in volleyball because he has a lot of work to do if he's going to be become a regular any time soon, but would it kill you to just lay off him a bit when we're just hanging out? It seems like you're always giving him a hard time."

Yaku pauses in his search, head under Kuroo's bed, and takes as deep a breath as he can without choking himself on dust. He knows how important it is to Kuroo that the team be open and accepting to everyone, and he definitely benefits from that just as much as everyone else. And he'd be lying if he said Lev didn't look more than a little crushed when Yaku had turned on him.

He does feel bad about it. Contrary to what most people thought, Yaku doesn't like being unnecessarily mean to people.

Yaku sighs, sending himself into a coughing fit, and finally crawls out from under Kuroo's bed.

"You're right. I'll apologize to him first thing on Monday," he promises. "Have you seen my charger anywhere?"

"Oh I gave it to Kenma," Kuroo says easily. "His was in his school bag and he wanted to play a game."

Yaku looks around the empty room in exasperation. "He went home an hour ago. And he had his school bag _with him._ "

"But that's too much work for him to have to take it out," Kuroo says, as if it makes perfect sense. It probably does to him.

"And you couldn't have given him yours?"

Kuroo stares at him blankly. "Yaku, dude. I need that to charge my phone."

——

True to his word, Yaku takes Lev aside before practice starts the next day.

"I want to apologize for what I said on Saturday. You're allowed to like whatever movies you like, no matter how bad they are, and I should have just kept my mouth shut."

Lev nods, and Yaku has to bite his cheek to keep from laughing at how earnestly serious Lev looks.

"I understand, Yaku-san," Lev says. "But I wish you would just give rom coms a chance. They may be cliche, but they aren't as bad as you make them seem."

Yaku shrugs. "Yeah, well, I guess I just don't understand what you see in them."

"I'm actually glad you pulled me aside today," Lev says, face transforming from uncharacteristic seriousness to his usual sparkle. "There's something I've been wanting to ask you."

Yaku resists the urge to groan. He can just imagine what Lev's going to say. He's going to ask Yaku what the weather is like all the way down there, or if his whole family is short or if it's just him. Even if he's being serious, he's probably just going to beg Yaku to help him with his receives.

So he's completely taken aback by what Lev actually asks him.

"Do you want to g on a date with me?"

——

"I hope you weren't too mean to him and gave him an actual apology," Kuroo says after practice on their way to class. "He really likes you."

Yaku grimaces. "Yeah, I know."

"You know, but you still don't cut him any slack. Would it kill you to just try being pleasant to him? I know you're capable of that."

"I am trying," Yaku insists. "I agreed to go on a date with him."

Kuroo's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Wow. Okay. I knew Lev liked you, I just...didn't realize you liked him like that."

"I _don't._ We'll go on a few dates, he'll realize we have nothing in common, and then he'll get over his crush. It's as easy as that."

Kuroo snorts. "Yeah, right."

Yaku sighs. "You're just reading way too much into this, the way you always do. It's just a few dates. What could possibly go wrong?"

——

The next Sunday, Yaku finds himself knocking on Lev's door with no small amount of trepidation. He has no idea what's going to happen, because Lev had insisted on being the one to plan the date. All he'd told Yaku was that he could wear whatever he wanted, because they weren't doing anything that would require a certain kind of dress.

Yaku knocks on Lev's door, smiling to himself when he can just make out the sound of Lev's voice.

One of Lev's sisters answers the door. Lev has a ridiculously large number of siblings, and Yaku has no idea what any of their names are.

Lev's sister looks him over and frowns. "Lev's not ready yet, he said I should let you wait in the living room," she says without moving. She's gives Yaku a hard, appraising look. "You're kind of short to play volleyball, aren't you?"

Yaku bristles. "You're the same height I am," he points out.

"No," she says. "I'm pretty sure I'm taller than you. And anyways, I don't play volleyball so what does it matter?"

Yaku sighs. "Are you going to let me in?"

"You didn't bring anything," she says, ignoring his question. "You should bring a gift for a first date."

She stares at Yaku for a while longer, and Yaku forces himself to meet her gaze despite the fact that he just wants to roll his eyes and walk away.

Finally, she steps aside, welcoming him inside.

She leads him to the living room and points at the couch. "Sit here. Don't move. If you go upstairs, you will regret it. I'm going to get Lev."

She disappears, leaving Yaku alone.

He glances at the pictures decorating the walls, photographs of a variety of people with Lev's same eyes and hair and ineffable smile. He gets up, ignoring Lev's sisters words, and walks over to study them. There's some pictures of Lev as a kid, and Yaku laughs at the sight of a wide-eyed kid with too-big ears. In most of the group pictures, Lev is hanging onto the same girl, and Yaku recognizes her as the younger version of the sister who opened the door. The pictures are all frozen moments, everyone caught in the middle of doing something, and even the posed ones have the air of an impromptu photo call. He thinks about how different his own family is, with the stiff formal portraits that hang in their house, all in matching frames. He wonders what it must be like, to be so close to a sister that a person would be hard-pressed to find a picture where you aren't standing right next to each other.

"Sorry! It took me longer to get ready than I thought it would!"

Yaku turns at the sound of Lev's voice, and his jaw literally drops.

He and Lev have hung out enough outside of school and practice that Yaku has a very good idea of his fashion sense—bright and pastel colors, fanny packs and Uggs, light up sneakers and anything cat print he can get his hands (and all of it at the same time if he can)—and Lev definitely didn't dress himself today.

Instead what he's wearing is much more subdued, stylish and cool, and as he comes nearer to him, Yaku catches a whiff of some cologne that he has definitely never smelled around Lev before.

"Wow, Lev. You look...great," he says.

Lev beams at him. "Thanks, Yaku-san! You look great too!"

Behind him, Yaku can see Lev's sister approach and decides he wants to be gone.

"So what are we doing today?"

"It's a surprise," Lev says.

The surprise turns out to be a carriage ride through the park closest to Lev's house.

"They had a two for one deal," Lev explains. "Shibayama and Inuoka took the other one."

It's not as bad as Yaku thought it would be. Lev shows a surprising amount of maturity, talking seriously to Yaku about his childhood, growing up with five siblings, and his surprising hobby of quilting.

For their second date, Yaku treats Lev to coffee, and they spend several hours walking through the cold city, hot beverages cradled in their hands. As they're heading back to Lev's, Lev jokingly kicks some snow up at Yaku, and not being one to concede easily, Yaku retaliates with a snowball to the face. Their fight carries over the rest of the way to Lev's house, where they spend at least an hour more in the yard lobbing snowballs at each other.

——

Kuroo calls him after his third date with Lev.

"So how's it like dating Lev?"

"It's...you know." Yaku shrugs even though the movement is lost over the phone. "We had coffee and went for a walk. We went to the park. We had another date today. It was just a movie. He made me watch one of those crappy rom coms."

"Wait a minute, are you saying you _voluntarily_ sat through an entire romantic comedy movie? You? Yaku Morisuke?"

"It wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be. We shared popcorn and a soda. I mostly zoned out and just sat there leaning against him." Yaku shrugs. "It was...nice. These last few weeks have been nice. It's not...he's not...he's not what I expected him to be like."

"Huh," Kuroo says, something hiding in his tone of voice that Yaku doesn't like.

"What do you mean by 'huh'?" Yaku asks him suspiciously.

"Nothing."

"No, you meant something. You don't say 'huh' like that unless you mean something. What did you mean?"

"It's just..." Kuroo trails off with a noncommittal sound.

"It's just _what?"_

"Nothing."

"It's not nothing!" Yaku insists.

"Don't you think all of your dates seem...somehow familiar?"

"Familiar?"

"Just, you know...a little familiar. Like...something that's been done before. A lot." When Yaku doesn't respond Kuroo continues. "And you know, the way things have progressed. I mean, you used to hate the kid and now you're voluntarily sitting through your least favorite kind of movies with him. It's sort of...cliche, don't you think?"

Yaku racks his brain, trying to figure out what Kuroo means.

"Yaku," Kuroo says gently, and Yaku can feel a heavy weight settle in the pit of his stomach. "He totally rom-commed you."

——

As soon as Kuroo hangs up, Yaku texts Lev.

_Come over. Now. Need to talk NOW._

It's stupid, he's being stupid. There is no way that Lev is conniving enough to trick him into anything. And even if he was, he's way too open to be that...that... _underhanded._

But whether or not this is something that Lev planned, or just something that happened, it's spiraled way out of Yaku's control—and it's time to end it. He'll tell Lev why he really agreed to go out with him, and that will be that.

Game over.

When Lev arrives, Yaku grabs him and drags Lev to his room.

"I can't do this anymore," he says. "I didn't agree to go out with you because I like you. I agreed to go out with you because I thought we'd go on a date...maybe two, and then that would be it. It'd be enough that you'd get over your crush, and we'd move on with our lives. But I can't do this anymore, because this isn't what it was supposed to be. And I don't know what it is, but I didn't agree to date you to do...whatever this is."

Lev smiles at him. "I know."

"What?" Yaku thinks that maybe Lev didn't hear right, because he just told Lev that he basically only went out with him to end his crush and that he wants to break up, but Lev looks as serene as if Yaku had just told him what the weather was going to be tomorrow.

"I said I know," Lev repeats. "When I asked you out, I thought for sure you were going to say no. But then you said yes, even though you clearly don't like me like that. So I just figured...well, you're always saying how terrible rom coms are, always saying that anyone that loves them has bad taste. But you know what? _I love rom coms_. And I'm not ashamed of that. And after the last movie night, I was determined to make you understand why I love them as much as I do. So I figured that there was only one way of making you realize the value of a good romantic comedy— _by forcing you to live a rom com_. Think about it—carriage rides through the park, good-natured snowball fights...we were acting out rom com cliches."

"But that—that means this whole time you've been tricking me?"

"I mean...I do like you," Lev says. "And I want to go out with you. But I also wanted to show you that rom coms could be enjoyable for anyone."

"I can't believe you tricked me," Yaku says incredulously. He can't believe Kuroo was right.

"But we're not done yet," Lev says. "We're only at the end of act two: you realizing that you care about me. You've developed _real_ feelings for me."

"No I haven't," Yaku says automatically, even though he can feel the lie fluttering in his chest.

"Well, I'm leaving for Russia tomorrow, so who knows when we'll see each other again," Lev says, grinning widely. "That is, unless you chase me down in the airport and make a heartfelt plea for love." Lev winks at him, all excitement and glee. "Good luck not meeting me there," he sings.

And with that, he skips off, leaving Yaku staring at his back in bewilderment.

——

"I cannot believe he did this to me! Forcing me to live in a _rom com_?!"

Yaku storms around Kuroo's room, huffing and glaring at anything that gets in his pissed off pacing path. Unfortunately for him, Kuroo's room isn't that big, and he eventually gives up and throws himself on the bed, grabbing a pillow and wringing it in his hands.

Kuroo eyes his pillow sympathetically as he sits next to Yaku. "He really got you, didn't he?" He reaches out a hand and points at Yaku's chest. "And he got in there too."

Yaku stares at him incredulously, refusing to acknowledge just how right he is, before dropping his head to scream into the pillow.

"If I go to him, he wins. But if I don't go to him, he still wins," Yaku fumes. "That's the problem. _I—don't—want—him—to win_ ," he says, pummeling the pillow with each word. "But," he says more quietly, "you're right. I do like him. Maybe I didn't before, but I do now. I just—fuck, you know how hard it is for me talk about this kind of stuff."

He looks up from the pillow. "Do you think I should go? I mean, I don't want him to win but I also...I do like him. A lot."

Kuroo sighs. "Yaku, do you even realize why rom coms are so popular?"

"Because nobody has good taste?"

"Because deep down everyone, no matter how cynical, wants a happy ending. And that everyone includes you."

Yaku stares at Kuroo morosely. "I'm going to chase after him, aren't I?"

Kuroo pats his arm. "Just as surely as I'm the quirky friend who's overly involved in your love life."

Yaku drops his head to the pillow and groans again before getting up and stalking out of the room.

"Where are you going?"

"I suddenly have the urge to _bake_."

Kuroo jumps up to chase after him because Yaku and cooking mixed together never amounts to anything good.

——

Four hours, a roll of cookie dough, and one tub of cookie dough ice cream later (Kuroo had managed to convince Yaku to spare his kitchen), Yaku storms into the airport.

Lev must have just arrived himself, because Yaku easily picks him out of the crowd. He's several meters ahead of Yaku, and while it would be easy to just yell out to him, Yaku refuses to play that game.

He runs up to Lev and grabs hold of his sleeve to get his attention.

Lev turns with a smile. "I knew you'd come. Romantic comedies never lie."

"I came because I had to tell you something." Yaku huffs and looks Lev in the eye. "I like you."

Lev balks. "No you don't. You told me so."

"No, I really do." Yaku shakes his head. "It started out as a pity date, and then I realized that you tricked me. Just to prove a point. Because you care that much about your horrible movies. And maybe I didn't like you before, but seeing you go through so much effort, just because of how much you love something, made me see you entirely differently."

"I...don't understand what's going on," Lev says, brow furrowed in confusion.

"I know. You can't figure out if I'm going along with your rom com script just to spite you, or because I actually feel something for you. There's no way for you to know. And that's why I had to come here and tell you before you leave. I like you."

Lev stares at him, all wide eyes and familiar openness.

"Yaku-san, you do realize we're going to see each other again, right? I'm only going to be gone for two weeks."

Yaku smiles at him. "Oh, I know."

"Wait...wait," Lev says. "So I'm confused. Do you like me?"

Yaku smiles at him and shrugs. "Do I?"

"Yaku-san!" Lev whines, grabbing him by the shoulders. "You have to tell me. If you like me you _have_ to _tell me_. I can't just leave without knowing. That's _torture_."

Yaku slips out of his grasp easily. "I guess you'll just have to wait for the sequel to find out," he says, cheekily. "See you in two weeks."

He laughs at Lev's disbelieving face and walks off.

"The sequel is never as good as the original!" Lev yells after him in anguish.


End file.
